Daily Archives: 07/03/2004

Well That Sucked

Watched two movies tonight. They both sucked.

Reign of Fire.
The Core.

Boy did they suck. I wasn’t expecting much, but they were worse than I anticipated.

Reign of Fire was well nigh incomprehensible; something about dragons erupting forth from the bowels of London to reduce the world to ash and rubble. I never did quite grasp how this happened, and the movie never bothered to explain it. The dragons looked really lame too, and what the hell is Matthew McConaughey doing playing an action/adventure hero? He looked ridiculous as the mighty redneck dragonslayer, somehow transplanted from Texas to England. And stone faced Christian Bale wasn’t much better, muttering lines and looking sulky throughout the movie.

The Core was a bit better, but it then had that cheesy Hollywood disaster flick thing going. Somehow watching cities leveled is not what I call great entertainment anymore, and the scene where the space shuttle crash lands shook me to my core. The guy from Possession was the hero in this movie, along with Hilary Swank as the spunky shuttle pilot (which somehow qualifies her to fly the subterranean vessel). The usual cast of expendables tags along, each meeting a uniquely gruesome death about every fifteen minutes, while the government heavies up on the surface plan some nefarious “Plan B” that will doom us all. Whatever.

Bottom line, don’t bother with either of these movies. They’re a waste of time.