I promised to report the results of this week’s DNA test of suspected Bigfoot hairs found up in the Yukon Territory. It’s, it’s PEOPLE! Soylent green is people! Oh wait sorry, having a Heston moment there. The hairs belonged to a bison, not some sasquatch or a particularly hirsute hominid. Sorry folks.
You silly man. You swallow this obvious cover-up and at the same time believe some ancient alien species built a roller skating rink on Mars?